WOMEN’S ENGLISH


Yes = No
No = Yes


Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry


We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious


Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain


Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to do that
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset


You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Be romantic and turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs


This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = I want new curtains, carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper


I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I want something expensive


How much do you love me? = I did something terrible today
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV


You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me